Diagnosis: Whip Lash.

Remember when I wrote about the seasons of life? How things change for the better? Well I still believe that. Most of the time these seasons mock the natural seasons of our surroundings. Things move in patterns. I often think of how I might have handled a similar situation in the past to help me get through.

Right now though, it's like a process of elimination. Trying to de stress but live up my last few months as a kid at the same time. Hold up. Are those two things possible? I don't even know... (I'm pretty sure it's not...) So I'm trying to just see what needs to be incresed and what needs to be decreased within my world. I'm taking a break from working, and just trying to get on my game for my Air Force duties. Also finding what it feels like to hang out with friends again. It's a lot of fun, just in case you didn't know! It's nice to have a little bit more freedom with my time and actually get more sleep at night. As much as I hate high school, it's kind of important for me to get through successfully.

In the midst of all this life juggling, I'm trying to figure out who Natasha is. Some of you reading this may think that sounds incredibly stupid, it says exactly who I am on my driver's license and the picture matches the one I seem to have been blessed with. BUT there's more to it than 5'7" tall, brown hair and blue eyes. There's a soul that lives inside and has to learn the art of contentment. I believe that everyone searches for this. This feeling of peace and happiness and self worth.

I go through phases of being a country girl or a city girl. Being a picky eater or having no preferences at all. Knowing my exact style or just being there. As I grow up I'm learning things for a fact. Like I'm definately high maintenance (but not a spoiled brat). I am definately a picky eater (if you know me things like "I do not like hot dogs" or "Absolutely no chocolate milk or ice cream" may come to mind). Some things still come and go. Like my surroundings, friends, perspective, or even the song playing on my ipod. My goal for the next few months is to change my persepctive and focus entirely. As lost humans we are always looking for the next thing to satisfy us. The next thing to entertain us. Only one thing can truly satisfy us - Christ. When things in our life are changed or even worldly things are changed, we think that's the solution. "I'll be happy if...." or "I'll be happy when..." Then when we get settled with it, we're bored or unhappy. Our souls were made to crave and only Christ can satisfy the quench.

This is when that beautiful cliche rings true- that sometimes we are forced to hit "rock bottom" so we are forced to look up to Him. "Rock bottom" can look different for each person and each stage in their life, but it's what you do when you're there that matters.

For me at this moment, it's a matter of giving God my attention. I can feel that he wants my time so bad. And I am so eternally grateful for His unconditional love and forgiveness.
I also highly recommend any literature by Pastor Craig Groeschel, especially his newest, Altar Ego.

Alright ladies and gents, I'm going to get back to my pinterest addiction support group. Enjoy you're Thursday and your mounds of chocolate. Peace out.

Like A Child pt. 2

As usual, Pastor Craig Groeschel brought it this morning at church. The series we are currently in at Lifechurch is called "Like A Child", and it is all about God's love through the perspective of a child.

Often times we get so consumed with life that we become complacent. We lose the awe and wonder that God instills in us.
A child only somewhat understands the depth of the stories taught on Sundays, and often has a great sense of trust. A child feels safe with their parent(s) and trusts that they will be taken care of. They feel comfort from their presence, as well as the reassurance of their love and care. This is the same kind of relationship our heavenly father wants. God wants to see our faces to light up at his blessings and wonderful attributes as a child would when Daddy comes home from work or a birthday cake is placed in front of them.

In case you weren't with us this Sunday, here were the main points Pastor Craig focused on this morning.

-My God is with me.
His presence is comforting to us in times of need, whether it be a need of physical, spiritual strength, or whatever the case may be.

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" Hewbrews 13:5

God wants a relationship with us, and we can build that by...

1. Talking to Him (Simply as you would talk to a friend)
Psalm 54:2
Phillippians 4:6-7

2.Listen to Him (The "Talk less, listen more" principal could apply here as well)
Duet. 30:20
Isaiah 30:21

3. Recieve from Him
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Isaiah 66:13

4. Enjoy His Presence
Psalm 16:11
Proverbs 8:30

Of course if you've ever been to a Life Church service before, you know Pastor Craig is always fun and keeps us laughing. For all the sermons you may have missed, they are available on itunes, or the archives file of the church website. I personally encourage you to join us for any of our Christmas services here at the Broken Arrow campus:
Thursday, December 20, 7pm
Friday, December 21, 5 and 6:30 pm
Saturday, December 22, 5 and 6:30 pm
Sunday, December 23, 8:30, 10, 11:30 am or 1, 5, and 6:30pm

Surreal, but exciting.

Hold up. It's December?! Call me crazy but it does not feel like Winter or Christmas time to me! The weather is far too nice and I'm so busy I can hardly keep up!

It seems surreal that it's almost Christmas break of senior year, but so exciting at the same time. Most of the people say to hang on to these high school days. I think reality will sink in closer to the end, and it may feel like a bit of a shock, but that's okay. I am counting the life changing events scheduled for next year, and it's quite lengthy!

This Christmas season is going to be different for us as we squeeze it into the hussle and bussle. Although, I have some awesome tricks up my sleeve this year. I'm excited to see my family's reactions to their gifts, and my boyfriend's as well. Let's just say he will be one happy man! (By the way ladies, if you ever need gift ideas for your boyfriend, let me know, I have tons!) (A full blog post to come on this later) I love receiving gifts no doubt, but the memories last even longer.

As we all look back at what a great year this was, we also look forward to what's next. And of course those typical New Year's resolutions... I think I'll join the flock this year and make some as well. But the catch is to actually try them, not just post them on Facebook. You know who you are. As soon as the New Year hits, I'm going to continue my training at the gym and increase the intensity, as well as becoming stricter on my "diet". Then of course, I also like to make a bucket list of things I want to do before each year ends. For 2013, I'll make one for fun things to do before bootcamp, and then another list for afterwards.

Well dear friends, enjoy the nasty mall traffic and Christmas gatherings. I will be enjoying the remainder of December making more memories with my lovely family, friends, and boyfriend.

Moment For Life

"I fly with the stars in the skies,
I can no longer try to survive,
I believe that life is a prize,
But to live doesn't mean you're alive.

Don't worry bout me,
and who I fire
I get what I desire,
it's my empire
And yes I call the shots,
I am the umpire
I sprinkle holy water,
upon the vampire (vampire)
In this very moment I'm king,
In this very moment I slay Goliath with a sling,
This very moment I bring
Put it on everything, that I will retire with the ring
And I will retire with the crown, Yes!
No I'm not lucky I'm blessed, Yes!
Clap for the heavyweight champ, Me! But I couldn't do it all alone, We!"
Moment for Life by Nicki Minaj ft. Drake

I know what you're thinking. You hate Taylor Swift and just quoted Nicki Minaj. What even. Hold up there my fellow critics. I could also write my own colorful review of Miss Minaj, but this is one song that could be my anthem. I'm not hood enough to even download her other songs. Not only do I love Drake's voice, but the lyrics (especially this first verse I pasted) is such a decleration of power and happiness.

Today is definately one of those days that I am just feeling an incredible rush of happiness. This past week has been so great! I had trouble sleeping for days prior just because I was so excited! On Tuesday I turned 18. FINALLY. I got a sweet surprise from my man, mom took me to get my nails done, some time with my family, and then I was officially sworn in to the United States Air Force. What an amazing experience! And an special shout out to my SWITCH girls for surprising me with a yummy cookie cake! I am so incredibly blessed and thankful for each and every person who made this the best birthday yet!

I am so optimistic about the climb I am on, where I am currently, and the beautiful view I will reach soon. I have a plan for my future, and amazing people to spend it with. Not to mention all the new friends I'll make along the way! I've only begun my airman adventure and already made amazing friendships. Kalley, you're definately on my list of role models and heroes!
The moments of bliss I've been blessed with lately, I truly wish I could have for life. They are indescribable, and made with sheer joy.

Senior year is almost half way over thank goodness! Everyone I know encouraged me to enjoy it and hang on to it. I think that if you're one of those people who wants to live in high school forever, I just want to say I'm sorry. That is a bit sad to me. Life is at our fingertips! I know many students, etc. who are scared of the real world. I say, Bring it! Let's get this going. My senior paper has been turned in, I'm ready for Christmas break, prom, spring break, and my cap and gown to be in my mainucred fingers! Class of 2013, baby!

There are definately times where it can all get overwhelming. For instance, I've never been a good runner. (Which I honestly think was mostly a mental block...) I just zone out and picture my military uniform, my new car, my future, and making everyone around me proud. Those things drive me so much. It's amazing to compare my outlook a year ago, to now. I had no idea where my future was going and everything was so up in the air. I'm talking in the air like NASA. Nowhere close to a plan. Then when I did have a plan, it changed more than my nail polish. Now I have a goal. I have extremely high expectations for myself and failure is simply not an option. That creates the powerful drive that gives me such a high. Sprinkle in a few fairytale moments and a smile I cannot get off my face and you've got one extremely blessed and happy Natasha.

Not so Swift.

The music world is full of prodiges, and Taylor Swift is no exception. However, I am no longer a Swift heart.

At the beginning of Taylor's career she was an innocent Nashville voice with beautiful blonde waves. She had a sense of vulnerability to her passionate song writing that stopped everyone in their tracks. Her songs were relateable and touching. Yes, I have a select few that I definately feel were written for me. This is not the Taylor you see today posing for Cosmo magazine.

So let me say what I enjoy about her. My favorite album was definately Speak Now. The songs were fun, and you could see her personality throughout the album. I also admire her songwriting abilities. For that I say, "Well done." You saw that Taylor was bridging the gap between country and pop, but still rang true to herself.
Taylor's success is inspiring, and the humility she has displayed throughout the first segment of her career was something we should all learn from.

Taylor's music overall is beginning to rub me the wrong way. Her songs are all about one thing- boys. How they broke her heart, how she loved and it wasn't returned, how he cheated and should have stood up for her and the list goes on. And they are almost all about her real life relationships. I'm beginning to wonder if she ever does anything else with her time...

So far she has dated Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, a Kennedy (maybe 2) and others.

Taylor we want to hear about your life outside of boys.

As a celebrity, one has so much influence, power (and money) to make a difference in this broken world. Whether it be through a charity or simply setting a good example for young fans. I personally want to follow someone with goals, discipline, a HEALTHY relationship, and a burning love for Christ. To my knowledge, Taylor is only in the headlines for who she dates. Even some of the other top earning celebs have been noted for reaching out. (Justin Bieber, Brangelina, Oprah...the list goes on.)

In my opinion, Taylor is nowhere near the girl she was when she released the first album featuring "Our Song". Not only is her sound different, but her looks and personality too. I miss those gorgeous blonde curls and innocent songs, not to mention the girl trying to hard to imitate a former Kennedy. (Although Jackie had class that was impeccable.) I am no longer a fan.

One day I hope to have a Miranda-Blake fairy tale. Hopefully there's a man who can handle this bundle of glitter covered gunpowder and lead.

Please note no Swift songs, ex-boyfriends, or fans were harmed in the making of this blog.

Inspiration. What is it to you?

One thing you will learn (hopefully) from reading my blog is that I am extremely goal oriented. If I see someonthing I want or something I want to accomplish, I figure out what needs to be done and work my butt off for it. I love working and working hard to have the things I want. For example, most of you know that last October I had wrecked my car. Well, I went the rest of the school year just borrowing my mom's car when necessary. But I realaized that senior year would be crazy and I really needed my own transportation. (I'm also huge on independence.) So I work my part time job and picked up two others as well. (and mono.....all I did this summer was work and sleep.) Even so, my goal was accomplished and I paid for my explorer with cash, all by myself. That was such an awesome accomplishment. Dave Ramsey would be so proud!

The list of things I have done this with goes on very far. From purchases of my new coat to clothes, or experiences such as pageants and prom, all the way down to my current passion. My future. Goals take many things to become accomplished goals. A plan, time, money, dedication, accountability, consistancy, and my personal favorite- inspiration. This could also range from any number of things. Here are the things that inspire me to continue, even on days when it seems impossible. These things are keeping me focused on my future, how to get there, and what I will achieve.

1. My friends and family. I have such an amazing support system. I am constantly encouraged, and told that I can do this. My future (Air Force) may not be easy, but they've got my back. Even down to the weight issue.

2. My church friends/ other young adults around me. There are a few in my life that I look up to that are leading Godly lives with great futures ahead of them within their lives, careers, etc. Those are the people I want to imitate.

3. Music. My loyal readers will also know what a music addict I am. ** Side note! I was helping with a school project today and we had the radio on. The station happen to be in tune with me and playing really great songs. I said "I love this song!" a lot. Eventually someone said, "You've said that about every song!" Sorry, I can't help it!** But really, though. Music says what we cannot. One song in particular that has me going right now is 'Part of me' by Katy Perry. The lyrics are riveting, and it's so powerful. The video shows Katy getting upset at a boy, and recreating her identity through the military. She cuts her hair, and is seen going through boot camo type exercises. She showed strength and beauty all in one. That (even though it was just a music video) is so inspiring to me! I also know that even though she is not a service woman, Katy is one tough gal! You go girl!

4. Nature. Now this is a new one for me. I don't usually go out and "find myself" in the woods or some meadow. However, we are so blessed here in Oklahoma to have beautiful sunrises and sunsets. (And the moon tonight is gorgeous!!) Those beautiful tones of pink, orange, purple, and blue just leave me in awe. They give me hope of a new horizon and future, and the beauty of life that God has in store.

5. Visuals. I made a collage for my room, with pictures of the things I am working for over the next year. I do this because it's a daily reminder to stay focused, but I also just love crafts. (My pinteresting friends will be so proud!) This poster has several things on it.
A. Pictures of cars I like. (My goal is to pay cash for a newer car in one year with part of my Air Force pay)
B. Pictures of Air Force rankings, logos, etc. (By this time next year I will have graduated Basic Military Training, and my specialized tech school.)
C. Pictures of Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. (I will be working through the next 7 months to gain lean muscle simply to be my best when enlisting. Then I will go through bootcamp. Those dancers insipire me. I want to be healthy, strong, and beautiful just like them. High kicks, splits, and all!)
   There were several other things among my collage, but these were the main goals. And now I have a visual reminder of what I'm working for.

Inspiration creates drive. Drive creates ethic. Ethic builds character. Character builds integrity. These are things that are getting harder and harder to find. Be the person that stands out and find your own sunrise. Find what inspires you to break the barriers and prove all the stereotypes dead WRONG. And I'll be in the background with my DCC blue pom poms cheering you on.

P.S. With all that being said, know that for the most part, I don't like to blend in. (I don't enjoy going freak status, but I definately don't quite go with the flow.) I like to be a rebel. When I had dyed my hair junior year, apparently that was the trend. So I got out of that real fast. The point was to stand out, not blend in.
My mom suggested when I get my new car, to get a red one. So I also decided that I would order a tage that said "Rebel". Fitting, don't you think?

P.P.S. Just in casse there is any doubt in your mind, pretty girls can be tough too. Don't underestimate us.

Four Seasons

Welcome back to my crazy life. It's been a while since we have spoken, dear readers. I bet right about now you're wondering why this blog post is titled "Four Seasons". Those of you who think like I do may instantly think of an image of a luxurious resort somewhere in India with roaming elephants and pillows like clouds. Snap. Back to reality. (And then you here Eminem singing right?) Okay we are too much alike. Stop day dreaming!

In all reality, the point of that title was the metaphorical comparison to time and life. Each year has four seasons. Although if you live in Oklahoma like me, we really have two seasons: melting and frozen. I beleive that there are chapters and seasons within our lives as well. And I am feeling this all too well. Things are changing around me so quickly! Many of these changes involuntary, many of these decisions I am making on my own.

Where shall I start...the basics. I've changed the group of people I spend my time with. I am thankful for each person God has put in my life, but with the exception of a very small few, they have a season too. I've also been blessed with new friends, and strengthening the family relationships I have at home. But when God closes one door, he opens another. This rings true in friendships as well. I'm thankful for the new friends that have come into my life. (And the old ones that have returned as well!)

Next on the list is school...Senior year. Yes, there are a few things from high school that I will miss. VERY few things. Everyone has told me not to wish my senior year away and that I'll miss it after. Honestly, at this point, I'm ready to take that chance. Even as young adults, there is so much drama. BA is your stereotypical clique filled and drama infested American high school. I finally have a plan for what I'm doing after graduation and I can't wait to get started.

Get started on what you ask? Three words: Future Airman, baby! That's right, yours truly is joining the United States Air Force. Don't panic, I'm not going to be in harm's way. I am joining the Air Guard, and will be training in San Antonio, Texas. Not going to lie, I know it's going to be tough. But the list of benefits out weighed the list of challenges by nearly miles. This will enable me to go to college, replace my car in a year, and hopefully be living on my own soon as well. I will be signing my contract on my 18th birthday next month, and leaving for bootcamp next June. This whole thing is incredibly exciting! I have a lot of work ahead of me to prepare for all of this, but I have a great support system. My family is very supportive of my goals and what I'm doing. My work family also supports me. I also have great support from a friend who is helping me with my "under weight" issue. (Thank you!) This issue almost got me declined from enlisting altogether, but it's an obstacle I know I can overcome. I also have made some really awesome friends from the military, and this journey has only just begun...

Overall, I really would just love a day off more than anything. I forgot what one of those feels like. Although, everything that is keeping me busy is helping me to reach my goals. My goals of independece, financial and job security, self discipline, an education, and direction. This weekend I plan to make a poster with visuals to include all these to help keep me motivated. Until then I rely on the gorgeous Oklahoma sunrises and sunsets, my support system all around me, and Christ to keep me motivated.