Let's be real

SIGH. Well, I don't want to post details right now, but this past weekend was nothing but some learning and a reality check for me. I had moments that made me cry, that made me see clearer, and that made me ask lots of questions.

Where do I begin? Well, first a big shout out to my youth pastor. And a thanks, as well. Our little chat helped me a lot. I had no idea the pressure on my shoulders until I laid everything out on the table for you. And honestly, I could have kept going! I respect everything that he had to say, and being listened to like a young adult and not a child was a very cool thing. He prayed with me afterwards, and it helped a lot. It made me feel better, but also made me see things in a different light. It partially made me think I need to not be so hard on myself and try to be a kid as much as I can, but it also made me realize how long my to do list truly is. (yikes...)

Later that Friday night, work was incredibly stressfull and it got to me. I had to leave due to an asthma attack towards the end of my shift. It's been a very long time since anything like that has happened and it was a little frightening. No need to worry, once I got home, I eventually fell asleep and felt much better after sleeping for 12 hours.

The following day was full of blessings and sweltering august heat. I just love getting hand me down clothes and stuff from my older cousins!

On the last day of this...weekend, I totaled my car. I was on the way home from work and rear ended a guy in a nissan truck. (I am leaving out most of the story for now, details later.) I was so incredibly blessed that no one was hurt. The man that I hit and the lady that stayed to give a report were so kind to me. They just kept reassuring me that it would all pass and cars are replacable and lives are not. Bottom line. Everyone just kept saying "No one was hurt." So, with all that said, I am car-less at the moment. But it's teaching me a lot. Shout out to the guy I hit: "Thank you for being so kind and calm. It truly was a blessing that you were the one in front of me."

Life isn't always easy, and I'm not perfect. Yes, I try to hold myself to some pretty high standards, but I make mistakes. I do things I shouldn't. I get nervous. I don't like confrontation. The key is to learn and grow from all of life's ups and downs. To grow mentally, spiritually, and physically. Just like my youth pastor remided me, being a teenager isn't easy and you have to take time for yourself. Otherwiae we get overwhelmed and break.

I also want to mention that my boyfriend Jonathan is a huge support to me. He encouraged me through all my trials this weekend, and it helped a lot. He also was at the site of the accident to make sure I was okay shortly after it happened. Thank you very much Jon! I appreciate all that you do for me!

So if you find yourself in similar ruts of life, pray. I know it might not be the easiest thing to do, being humble before the Lord,but you will feel so much better afterwards. Just like a friend of mine said, "God wants the best for His children." He will provide and comfort like no other can.

Music Addict- August Playlist

What song is playig in your head right now? Pop? Rock? Christian Rock? No matter what time of day it is, I always have something stuck in my head. And for those of you who know me, I am a music addict. I'm pretty well versed on the artists I like and the lyrics of the songs I sing.

So let me share with you my current playlist. These are the songs to kick off the school year, to pump up the party and let down your hair to.

1. Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes ft Adam Levine This song is catchy and sweet, and very fun. It has Travvie Mccoy's sick beats, and Adam Levine's legit voice. Levine is also the lead vocal of Maroon 5. Levine's career has been heating up lately, as he is a judge on NBC's The Voice, and has multiple singles out right now.

2. Pumped Up Kicks by Foster The People This tune is more mellow, but still very fun. The new mod-vintage band came out of nowhere butis in the vh1 'you oughta know: artists on te rise' spotlight. Thes oh-so-cute members say their sounds is highly influenced by british rock groups.

3. If I ruled th World by Big Time Rush There is absolutely nothing wrong with enoying a little BTR, I don't care who you are. These lyrics are fun and sweet, and you can tell these boys are far from flakes.

4. Impossible by Anberlin Anberlin is a band very close to my heart. They have a very unique sound, and the lyrics are amazing. Many people have not even heard of the band, but I highly encourage everyoneto go watch some of the band's videos on YouTube.

5.Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5 and Christiana Aguilera Yes, Maroon 5 has done it again! This beat is a bit risque, but you can't help but dance when it comes on!

Hit up YouTube or iTunes wheneer you get the chance and give these beats a chance! You'll be searching for those dance shoes as soon as the music comes on!

Procrastination...The Disease of High School Kids

Procrastination. Webster's online dictionary decribes it as "putting off to a future time". As a 2011-2012 BA junior, I can tell you, I have become and expert procrastinator. And I learn from the worlds best: my peers.

School work is definately my least favorite part of school. Personally, I'm all about the social scene. The lunch tables, the new clothes and styles, the student council campaigns and conventions, and the between class convo's. Don't get e wrong, academics are crucial, but that's not necessarily where memories are made. People don't typically look back and smile when they think of outlining chapter 15 in history class. It's the relationships we make in high school and the life lessons we learn and the triumphs that we remember.

However, my fellow AP students feel my pain when I say these few icky words: summer. AP. assignment. For Juniors in AP English, it's The Scarlet Letter as well as a dialectical journal. EEEWWW. Who wants to spend their lst few glorious moments of summer reading a book in old english, then writing about it? Not me. Keep in mind this will be turned in to a teacher we have never met, and have no idea what he/she expects of us. Awesome.

So, I finally got up the motivatin to go get the book. Then it sat in my room for about 3 weeks. Then I finally printed the assignment sheet from the school website. and 2 weks later, (less than 2 weeks from the due date, and 1 week from school) I am finally doing something about it. I also would like to add that when I did attempt to stick it out and just read the book, it put me to sleep. Literally. Although, I didnt feel quite so bad when the smartest kid in class posted that it put him to sleep as well. English this year is going to be a blast.

So friends, the question still stands: how am I going to get this done? Resources. Many students have found a parallel version of the book translated into modern English. (if I can find one... my life will be complete!) Google, Sparknotes, and a little perserverance are my other secret weapons.

AP students: don't give up! It will be worth it in the end. I hope...

Days Like This

As previously mentioned, the Sleeping Beauty production hosted by The South Tulsa Children's Ballet is this Saturday. Throughout this week we are in full preperation and rehearsal mode. This is when the entire cast comes together and goes through the show. These can be multiple hours and can get quite repeatitive.

At the beginning of this week, we had our pictures for the show. Everyone comes in and puts on their costume including hair, makeup, and accessories. The little girls looked so cute in their little tutus and sequins, and the older girls looked so beautiful in their full tutus and pointe shoes. But those are the moments that keep me going. So often I want to quit participating in productions with this company, but days like this keep me going. I have done Nutcracker 2010, and now Sleeping Beauty 2011. I have been blessed in these oppurtunities, but so many days, I long for a part on pointe with the other girls my age.

Since about age four I have wanted pointe shoes. When I finally got into dance lessons, I was disapointed to learn I couldn't have them then. Now I am proud to say I'm a pointe ballerina at my home studio (Beautiful Feet). And I strive to work to the level of the other girls my age. (This is often easier said than done; the other girls at STCB do nothing but eat, sleep, school, and dance.) Days like this reminds me that I am so close to that dream. I am going through the less important parts to work my way to the top. I may not be Aurora or a lead, but one day I will reach that goal of wearing one of the beautiful stand out tutus on stage with the South Tulsa Children's Ballet.

Along with this, I am working on polishing my pointe solo for the year at my home studio. Check back for performance dates.

Update Please?

For those of you that follow, my sincerest apologies for not blogging in a while. For the newbie readers: hit up my archive on the left, that's where you'll find my more organized thoughts and articles.

So throughout the summer it has been mass organized, (and unorganized) chaos for this girl. I have been spending lots of time at work, trying to catch up with friends, and learning enough to write 16 novels. Lots of my time of course, has been spent with Jonathan. (Yes we are officially a couple. (Awww!!!) ). His family is just adorable and we always have a good time. I've also been a busy little bee getting ready for two very big events.

The first is Sleeping Beauty, an annual production put on by the South Tulsa Children's Ballet. The shows are at 2pm and 7 pm at the TCC performing arts center. Tickets can be purchased online. I am on of the Queen's friends, and I have very little to complain about except the monstrous head piece I am required to wear. The dress itself is really pretty, but the fake tiaras are a bit tacky, not even going to sugar coat it.

The second big event, is the Miss BA competition in October. (And of course the dance competition in September!) I am busy getting paper work ready, wardrobe lines out, and my talent refined. So far, the dress in the running for my love is a gorgeous A-line yellow prom formal. It has just a touch of beading and is very pretty. I could see myself getting crowned in the dress for sure. (I've been told it makes me look like Belle from Beauty and the Beast.) I am also wearing out the satin in my pointe shoes. This year my talent is 100% hard work and passion. I'm putting my heart and soul into this dance, bringing my A game this year. Competing last February taught me a lot about pageants and many other life lessons as well. But one very important thing I learned: When you're nervous and stressed, your hair is so much less likely to cooperate, so be kind to those locks!

next on the list, is school. We are just a few short weeks away, and it will be upon us. This will be my junior year and I am so excited to reunite with my friends and get back to the daily grind of being a high school student. This year I am going to have my own style, a positive outlook, and rid all insecurities. But most importantly, my light for Christ is going to shine brightly. I know I'm not perfect, but I can do anything through Christ who gives me strength. For the readers: pick up a copy of Battlefield of the Mind: for Teens by Joyce Meyer when you get a chance. It's a quick easy read and so crammed full of power. It's incredibly uplifting! I highly recommend it, and I'm only on chapter 6!