Diagnosis: Whip Lash.

Remember when I wrote about the seasons of life? How things change for the better? Well I still believe that. Most of the time these seasons mock the natural seasons of our surroundings. Things move in patterns. I often think of how I might have handled a similar situation in the past to help me get through.

Right now though, it's like a process of elimination. Trying to de stress but live up my last few months as a kid at the same time. Hold up. Are those two things possible? I don't even know... (I'm pretty sure it's not...) So I'm trying to just see what needs to be incresed and what needs to be decreased within my world. I'm taking a break from working, and just trying to get on my game for my Air Force duties. Also finding what it feels like to hang out with friends again. It's a lot of fun, just in case you didn't know! It's nice to have a little bit more freedom with my time and actually get more sleep at night. As much as I hate high school, it's kind of important for me to get through successfully.

In the midst of all this life juggling, I'm trying to figure out who Natasha is. Some of you reading this may think that sounds incredibly stupid, it says exactly who I am on my driver's license and the picture matches the one I seem to have been blessed with. BUT there's more to it than 5'7" tall, brown hair and blue eyes. There's a soul that lives inside and has to learn the art of contentment. I believe that everyone searches for this. This feeling of peace and happiness and self worth.

I go through phases of being a country girl or a city girl. Being a picky eater or having no preferences at all. Knowing my exact style or just being there. As I grow up I'm learning things for a fact. Like I'm definately high maintenance (but not a spoiled brat). I am definately a picky eater (if you know me things like "I do not like hot dogs" or "Absolutely no chocolate milk or ice cream" may come to mind). Some things still come and go. Like my surroundings, friends, perspective, or even the song playing on my ipod. My goal for the next few months is to change my persepctive and focus entirely. As lost humans we are always looking for the next thing to satisfy us. The next thing to entertain us. Only one thing can truly satisfy us - Christ. When things in our life are changed or even worldly things are changed, we think that's the solution. "I'll be happy if...." or "I'll be happy when..." Then when we get settled with it, we're bored or unhappy. Our souls were made to crave and only Christ can satisfy the quench.

This is when that beautiful cliche rings true- that sometimes we are forced to hit "rock bottom" so we are forced to look up to Him. "Rock bottom" can look different for each person and each stage in their life, but it's what you do when you're there that matters.

For me at this moment, it's a matter of giving God my attention. I can feel that he wants my time so bad. And I am so eternally grateful for His unconditional love and forgiveness.
I also highly recommend any literature by Pastor Craig Groeschel, especially his newest, Altar Ego.

Alright ladies and gents, I'm going to get back to my pinterest addiction support group. Enjoy you're Thursday and your mounds of chocolate. Peace out.